President’s Message

It's interesting that in recent times I have seen various posts on social media that have raised concerns for me.   Before continuing, I need to say that perhaps I am not typical of my generation or my age, in that I do engage with several social media platforms, which I find informative, funny and engaging.   But what I saw on one of these platforms, was an image of a young man who had lost his life far too early.   He was also the son of one of our members - but the post had been made by someone totally removed from that family.  The “handle” on the post was, “Gone too Soon”.    

The way the post had been created was done in a caring, factual manner and basically it was a lovely image of this young man, who had left this world all too soon and that was the focus of the post.  I have seen other posts since, again relating tasteful images and stories of loved ones that have died far too early in their lives.  I should add this was not a grieving site, but a generic social media site, open to anyone.   In my mind I couldn't decide whether this was a good thing or a bad thing.  How would I feel if this was my child that was portrayed to the world in this way on this platform?   I am pleased to say that the member concerned, thought it was a lovely post, had no concerns and didn’t find it distressing.

it's a difficult question though, because we all want our children to be remembered, but at the same time we all have a need to protect the memory of those children – just in the same way that we will always strive in protecting our living children, brothers and sisters.   I anticipate that each of us would have a very clear opinion as to how we feel on the matter – but at the same time, this “image”, this “story” had been independently created from internet files (I presume) and no one could change it.  I know nothing about the person creating the post – other than the above.   I suppose you could lodge a complaint with the social media platform – but saying what?  So much of our lives and those of our children and families is “out” there in the big, wide world and we have very little control in how this might be used.

Remembering and talking about our children is such a precious thing and isn’t it something that we all want?  We don’t want to just lock away memories of that life.   It warms my heart when I hear a friend recall a story about my daughter, something along the lines of, “……….do you remember when?”   Of course I remember.  I have stored every single recollection of her life, deep in my heart.  Sometimes those recollections make me smile and at other times, I feel my heart is about to split open because of the pressure of containing them there.  And the sad reality is, I’m greedy.  I don’t just want to hear someone share a single sentence, I want them to share a paragraph of memories, a page of memories, a book of memories …….because those precious memories keep our children’s stories alive.  They then stay with us.  They are part of our ongoing  lives.  Their experiences are still shared.  They are still talked about with pride, interest, fondness and love.

Hugs to all

Chris