President’s Message

I think I have previously alluded to the fact, that as each publication of this magazine is being prepared (by a few dedicated souls I might add), I sit and contemplate the mysteries of life and think, “What can I say / share that might lighten the load for one of my fellow travellers – sharing this life experience, that no one wants to live”.  I very often come up empty handed – but somehow the keyboard starts talking to me, as a result of my contemplating this moment and how my life has evolved up to this point. 

Then one of the dogs arrive – and remind me of what unconditional love looks like, that no matter how sad elements of my life may be, no matter how much I struggle with anything, here is an example of something that makes my heart glad to still be beating.
We can’t all be animal lovers and I am sure that for some it may be a bizarre concept to bring to the table,  when I’m considering the loss of a child or a sibling – but for me, it reminds me of the power of love that allows me to take one step at a time, live one moment at a time.

In the early days of my loss, I am sure I am not alone in thinking that I could never go on, that so much of me had been stolen, that the world was such a cruel place, that my life had been shattered and would never be the same again, that nothing would ever be right again.  And in some respect, there is an element of truth there, but at the same time, I now live a “new” life.  Not quite the same as before and friends have been lost as a result of the person that I have become – but I think a man that sees unconditional love and knows it for what it is, and that this is a fundamental part of our existence (or it should be). 

It is this unconditional love that some days can make me a blubbering mess or smile with pride, when I think of my daughter.  Some days, all it needs is some little thing that can push that button and I cry for my loss and cry for the man that I once was.   But on other days, little events can take me to a place where I can look at the world, remember those shared times and smile.  Memories that no one can take away or change.  And as I look at this dog, craving my attention, asking me to get up and share part of our existence together (probably a walk with treats involved) I remember my daughter holding one of our other dogs (long since gone) and remember that look of unconditional love that they then shared – and that memory is enough for this moment.  I could interpret the opening statement as, “We can’t hold onto everything at once – but we can hold onto something at once”. And yes, in this moment it’s enough and it helps me to go on.

Hugs to all

Chris